


The Brave and the Bold

by Esperata



Category: Batman: The Brave and the Bold
Genre: Courtship, Crimes & Criminals, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:00:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27286057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Esperata/pseuds/Esperata
Summary: Fortune favours the brave, they say, but Riddler is stacking the odds in his favour as he approaches Penguin for a date.
Relationships: Oswald Cobblepot/Edward Nygma
Comments: 17
Kudos: 64





	The Brave and the Bold

As the Batmobile cruised to the scene of crime, the Caped Crusader filled Robin in on the details.

“This is almost certainly the culmination of a recent spate of robberies. On their own, none of them warranted particular notice however with hindsight there’s been an obvious pattern.”

“Yeah. Umbrellas,” the Boy Wonder interrupted eagerly. “I get why no-one bothered about the earlier thefts. Who’d worry about a few ordinary umbrellas going missing?” he asked rhetorically. “But this one? It was always going to be an obvious target for Penguin.”

“Penguin?” Batman frowned. “Why do you think the criminal behind these thefts is Penguin?”

Robin turned in his seat to look disbelievingly at him. As always, he couldn’t be entirely sure his mentor wasn’t pulling his leg but he had to assume this was another test. Albeit an easy one.

“Duh, because of the umbrella theme of course. It screams ‘Penguin’.”

“Maybe so,” Batman conceded. “But there is nothing more deceptive than an obvious fact.”

“You think someone’s framing him?”

Batman pursed his lips, still concentrating on driving.

“I don’t know. But I do think it's interesting that the last two thefts were at Vauxhall Repair Centre and the Shell Opera company.”

He pulled the car to a halt outside the science exposition being held in the Vauxhall Opera Shell & Indoor Complex Centre. Robin stared blankly, obviously not seeing the link. Batman hesitated but chose not to explain further. The boy needed to learn to draw his own deductions. Besides which, they had more pressing concerns.

In tandem they fired their grapnel at the roof and ascended, carefully staying silent as they listened for the intruders. It only took two tries at skylights before they saw movement in the dark beneath. Robin counted four henchmen, two keeping watch while the others lifted a casing free, undoubtedly for their boss to reach under them to grab his loot. With a dramatic smash of glass the two heroes dropped down to land squarely on the guards, effortlessly taking them out of the equation before turning to the others.

They were simultaneously reaching for weapons now that they’d freed themselves of their burden and in that window of opportunity the dynamic duo struck. Fists flew easily dealing with the hired help. It was then the turn of their boss. Both Batman and Robin spun to face him but the Boy Wonder froze momentarily in surprise.

“Riddler?”

Meanwhile Batman had hurled a batarang at his foe only to be caught out himself as it rebounded feet away from his face. Retrospectively he noted the umbrella unfurled above his head.

“Amazing isn’t it?” the Prince of Puzzles said. “An umbrella that truly protects you from all atmospheric disturbances.”

“A feat of scientific genius,” Batman agreed. “Incorporating a force field into the projecting struts but it won’t save you from feeling the full force of justice.”

“I beg to differ, Batman.” Nygma grinned. “How about a riddle? Why does the caged bird sing?”

A muffled objection caught Batman’s ear and he turned to see a  _ fifth  _ henchman larger than the others, had got Robin in a punishing bear hug. He heard Riddler laugh as he was forced to let him go in order to save his apprentice from strangulation. It took him less than a minute to fire his grapnel gun into the wall behind the pair and yank a block of concrete into the back of the bruiser’s head but in those seconds the villain had made good his escape.

“Sorry Batman.” The boy coughed. “He got me by surprise.”

“Maybe a few more training sessions will help you to expect the unexpected.”

Robin grimaced but couldn’t object. Riddler would have to wait for his date with justice.

#  ☂

Everything had been planned meticulously but Edward was still nervous. This was nothing so familiar as an elaborate crime spree and if this went wrong then he stood to suffer far more than a mere asylum stay. He wished he could adjust his hat again, sure it must have slipped to an unfavourable angle, but his hands were full of his carefully gathered gift. Taking a deep breath he glanced to his henchman.

“Well? Knock will you.”

The hulking man shifted the parcel he was carrying to one huge hand and knocked with surprising delicacy with the other. Almost immediately Ed began to fidget as doubts and second guesses assaulted him. He had just opened his mouth to demand whether they’d come to the right place when a hatch in the door opened.

A pair of narrow eyes looked out at them suspiciously before recognising the green clad rogue. His clear anxiety at facing a figure of such notoriety did a lot to calm Ed’s own bout of self-doubt.

“Tell your boss that the Riddler is here to see him,” he announced imperially, curling the ‘r’ in his name dramatically.

A frantic nod of obedience answered him and the hatch snapped shut followed by the sound of echoing footsteps disappearing rapidly. Ed took the time to relax himself. Things were going to plan. He would seemingly be announced with due reverence and he was confident that he’d done enough to earn his host’s goodwill. Moments later the door opened and he and his escort were gestured inside.

“This way.”

They were led down a corridor and into a warehouse space. There was the usual area set aside for the help to reside but Ed’s gaze fixated on the tables setup with ongoing projects. He itched to find out what gadgets and technical upgrades were being worked on but he put the thought aside for the time being. It was not his priority and he quickly refocused as they were led upstairs to an office overlooking the large room. Their guide tapped briskly and then waited.

“Yes, come in,” a familiar voice instructed.

As he was given the go-ahead Riddler straightened his shoulders, throwing a pointed look at the resident minion who obligingly opened the door for him. He then stepped inside with an air of utter confidence.

The Penguin surveyed him from across his desk and Ed strove not to crack under that perceptive gaze. Then the man’s eyes landed on his prepared gift and Ed saw the thoughts tumble as he no doubt tried to understand the purpose behind it.

“Have you taken up the career of door-to-door salesman?” he quipped, laughing at his own joke.

Edward clutched his bouquet of brollies together, feeling his insecurities eating at him again.

“No. I thought you’d appreciate them more than a bunch of flowers.”

His explanation got him an inquisitive head tilt.

“You’re not looking for a trade?”

Ed pouted but more in irritation at himself for not foressing that assumption.

“They’re a gift,” he clarified.

Oswald stood and moved around for a closer look. Edward couldn’t help but hold his breath as he was approached and his present examined. He stood perfectly still while Oswald cast his expert eye over the bunch, reaching out to feel the fabric of a couple of them.

“It’s a very nice bouquet,” he allowed. “I feel I should have thought of this idea myself. We shall have to find some way of displaying them properly though. I doubt a vase will do.”

“A waste paper basket should suffice,” Ed hastened to advise, cheeks pinking at the closeness and softness of the other man.

Oswald hummed thoughtfully then focused past Ed.

“Roc!”

Heavy footsteps preceded the arrival of a goon in the doorway. Penguin stepped aside and picked up his bin.

“Hold out your hands,” he instructed his man briskly. They did so with an air of confusion before a collection of trash was tipped into them.

“Go get rid of that,” Oswald muttered, already headed back to place the empty container on his desk. Edward eagerly stepped forward to deposit the blooms and then the pair spent a little while shifting the shafts round to create the best shape and pulling at the petals to make it aesthetically pleasing. Eventually Oswald retreated to admire it.

“Very nice,” he commented again. “I do appreciate the surrealist nature of the display but I am still at a loss for the reason behind such a gift.”

His tone clearly expected an explanation and Edward strove to supply one.

“A gesture of goodwill. Of friendship, if you like.”

“So there’s no strings attached to this generosity?”

“No. The idea simply occurred to me and you know I can’t rest once I get struck with a good idea.”

“Indeed. Well,” he moved to retake his seat, “if that’s all…”

He left the statement open ended and Edward sought courage to raise his next point.

“I had another gift for you.”

“Oh?”

In answer to this unspoken question Edward summoned his helper forward and took the box from his hands. He was gratified to see he had Oswald’s full attention as he lifted the lid and presented his prize.

“Edward,” his name was breathed in awe. “This is the force field umbrella from the science exposition isn’t it?”

Ed preened at the reaction.

“Yes. I stole it for you. Do you like it?”

Oswald’s hand had been moving to touch the precious object only to stop midway and retreat. The wondrous look he’d worn disappeared to be replaced with suspicion.

“You get nothing for nothing,” he muttered, clenching his hand to prevent it reaching again. “Common brollies are one thing but this? You must want something in return.”

He glared accusingly and Ed felt a momentary panic.

“No! That is, yes. But it’s not  _ compulsory _ . You can have the umbrella either way. I just wanted the best opportunity to  _ ask _ .”

“Ask? Ask what?”

“Willyougooutwithme?”

His verbal torrent got him a slow blink and Ed’s stomach churned that he’d either have a repulsed rejection or have to endure the mortifying ordeal of saying it again  _ before  _ getting a repulsed rejection.

“Go out,” Oswald repeated. “As in… on a date? You want to go on a  _ date  _ with me?”

At this stage Edward could do little but nod in acknowledgement and he could do nothing to stop the embarrassed flush burning his cheeks.

“Oh.” Oswald shifted his stance. “When did you have in mind?”

“What?” Edward snapped his eyes back to look at him.

For his part Oswald looked quite unruffled.

“When did you want to go out?” Oswald tried again. “Because I have several things coming up that I simply can’t rearrange.”

“Well… I…” Ed floundered. “I hadn’t got a fixed time in mind.”

“So you haven’t booked anything?”

“No!” He finally found his synapses coming back online. “How could I when I didn’t even know whether you’d accept?”

“Oh Eddie. As if I’d ever have refused.”

That along with the smirk Oswald was wearing effectively knocked his brain offline again leaving Oswald in control of the conversation.

“Now, there’s a very nice new place I’ve been wanting to try. I’ll make bookings for tomorrow night at eight. Shall I pick you up or would you rather meet here?”

“Er…” His thoughts flickered to his own littered hideout. “Here.”

“Fine.” He didn’t look at Ed as he resettled himself at his desk but his eye did twitch towards his gift box lying open in front of him. “Do wear a jacket and tie though,” he advised.

Ed felt the lack of attention as an implicit dismissal and awkwardly took a step backwards towards the door.

“Until tomorrow then?” he offered vaguely.

He’d almost reached the door when he was interrupted.

“Eddie? Aren’t you forgetting something?”

The prospect of having forgotten anything made Ed momentarily panic, not helped by Oswald’s smug look at him. Then the seated man tilted his head and gestured to his cheek.

“I expect a kiss goodbye from my dates.”

A surge of triumph lifted Ed’s spirits and he practically sauntered back over and round to join the other man, leaning down quite slowly to place a deliberate soft kiss onto even softer skin. He only pulled away a short distance so when Oswald turned to face him their nose tips were scarcely an inch apart.

“Until tomorrow,” Oswald whispered in a much fonder tone.

“Tomorrow,” Ed agreed, brushing one hand over the area he’d kissed. “When we shall have to raise the bar for your expectations.”

Oswald’s smile crinkled at the corner of his eyes and Ed grinned right back at him before sauntering away towards the door again. He had a feeling things between them were about to get very interesting indeed.


End file.
